Properly Apocalyptic…

What’s all this rapture nonsense?  No, no… see, first Cthulhu will awaken from his hangover in sunken R’lyeh and start screwin’ with our heads.  Then, as Dagon sends his stupid fish-cult after people, Hastur will wave his yellow sigil (gang sign) around and release really disgusting STD’s.  Mr. Yig and Ghatanothoa will eat lots of folks, and Ithaqua will eat a ton of folks.  Basically all the Great Old Ones will have a big, bloody playdate.  But then Nyarlathotep will stroll up with Keziah Mason on his arm like a pimp, giving the thumbs up to The Outer Gods.  Yog-Sothoth will go all gate-like, and his sister Shub-Niggurath will pop through and give birth to a thousand screaming young.  While totally un-good, it gets way worse.  As Earth is battered in a celestial orgy of insane violence, the blind idiot god Azathoth will perk up,  put down his lame Pipes of Chaos and go, “Oh, that seems nifty!” Our reality is enveloped in pure suck, and Ubbo-Sathla gets pissed ’cause no one told him it was time to rebirth the universe. 

See, this is why Lovecraft is way cool…

 

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